I’ve lost my entire extended family,” Mohabir reflects. No matter how much I grow in my life, I always feel like I’ve lost my family. “It is a grief that never ends, no matter how long. He occasionally speaks to his mother and siblings, but purposefully distanced himself from his father for his homophobic and racist views. He stopped getting invitations for any weddings or community gatherings. Mohabir got married to a man and moved to Alabama - the furthest he could go away to start his own family.
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His uncle said, “You are breathing in their dead skin cells.” Mohabir could not believe what he had heard.įast forward a few years, his sister married a Black man and she was publicly shamed and humiliated at a family gathering. His uncle told him to slow down and Mohabir asked, “Why?” Mohabir remembers walking with his uncle when two Black people were walking in front of them.
Research about the history and the current representation of LGBTQ Afro-Asian relations is scarce. A 2014 Pew study found that on average 80% of Pakistanis, Malaysians, and Indians thought that homosexuality was morally unacceptable. His mother’s views have since progressed, but the anti-black sentiment and homophobia in his family and community haven’t grown old. So, the discourse has been don’t be gay to don’t be gay with a Black person,” recalled Mohabir, the memory still vivid and fresh. “I remember her saying: I would rather you be with someone who is South Asian. This is when Mohabir decided to come out of the closet and revealed to his mother that he was dating a Black man. Despite having lived in various countries, the Indo-Guyanese community always remained close to his heart. His family’s home was a melting pot of Indo-Guyanese and Western culture. Two decades ago, Rajiv Mohabir was young and hot, living his life in New York City with no fears.